This story is about the importance of our intentions, or rather, how important it is to formulate our intentions properly.
… It took me a conference that day. The room can accommodate up to 200 people, and the public was special, made up of teachers. We discussed issues related to the psychology of interaction and communication. The conference was a good pace and kept the audience lively enough. The public participated actively in the discussions and raised many sensitive questions. In the end, when I managed to build a strong bond with the public and “begin to understand perfectly,” the questions began to be more personal.
“How can I deal with my mother?” He asked someone who was sitting in the first row.
The talking woman was evidently nervous. When asked to clarify the situation, emotionally he told us that his mother had always maintained strict control over them, so that they suffer a lot. “My mom always had a lot of rules, and she always knew what’s best for me,” the woman continues. “They took the right to have my own opinion and I chew each time I did something wrong.” Recently, her mother seemed to change her attitude towards her daughter and draw her attention to her granddaughter. But now history repeats itself:
“I look at my mother, forcing my daughter to eat, to do her homework, to wear warm socks, and I froze. I feel I’m back. I want to protect my daughter from this. I held my mother several times. I harassed to do it, but still. “
“What do you mean” taught “?” I asked.
. “Well, I often talked, without hiding my emotions, of course, when I was very angry, I said,” Mom, stop it, we find without your help, you are old enough To arrange things “! .. often I wanted to say, “Mom, I’m tired I’ll talk, and now wants to do the same with my daughter, right?” That’s what I say, or rather cried sometimes Mom closed the door and he refuse ..?. To us for several days to visit. Then we forget our discussion class, but the same situation is repeated … “
“And what’s your question?”
“We talk about communication, we talk about how we can express our feelings and thoughts without hurting ourselves or hurting.” I try to find the answer, but I can not.
“And your question?”
“My question is: How can I tell her that she should stop pushing my family How can I give my mother that we need help How can I protect my daughter against her and finally how to do All this I do without hurting his feelings? “
There was something in her words, which led me to say, “Tell her otherwise.” The woman looked confused.
“It is necessary that this help is not, but what do you really need?” I asked, trying to give a touch. “You want your mother not to offend. But what do you want? What is your intention? What is your objective?”
“To Delete Tor Maman For My Daughter And My Life …”
These words make me shiver. I pretended that I had not heard him speak. So I approached the woman and asked her to repeat it.
“I want Mom to have made my life retired,” he said, each word separately and loudly.
I leaned closer to him.
“Are you listening now?” I interrupted and repeated gently:
“Portage al. Mama. Of life. Is this really your goal? “
The room was so quiet, as if no one was there.
She was visibly worried. Suddenly he understood what was behind his words. After all, he says, it is also used when he made his intentions is his attitude in his words, gestures and intonations are clear.
“It’s a shame! It was not my intention.”
“But as long as you formulate your intentions is what you say, working for your goal. First to come are the words suited to your destination ..”
“I do not want my mother … Oh! I want my mother … Oh! It’s important to me that my daughter … No, it’s important to me that I …”
She paused. The room is silent.
“You know,” he continued, after a short pause, “I have realized that my mother’s hardness strengthens me, so I can take care of myself and my daughter, how can I mediate this to my mother?”
His tone changed and his eyes softened.
“So your goal is …” insisti.
“I want my mother to say that I have done everything you appreciate for me.Thanks to her, I am sure that I can become a loving and caring mother.I want to assure you that I am fine Certainly share with my daughter all I learned from him, my strong and loving mother. “
Of course, she began to cry. When he finished his speech, his voice trembled. She understood everything. It was like a divine enlightenment. Illustration.
It was a gift!
Such stories sometimes occur in our lives, and definitely worth sharing.
Source: It’s interesting to live!